failblog's uploader is broken so I shall post here

advertisements aimed at mothers should not have pictures of pedophiles. just my two cents.

I like to have sex whenever i damn well want to! Hence my not being religious.

[flowchart of if you can have sex today if you're a medieval catholic]

It's amazing these people reproduce as prolifically as they do with how little sex they can have.

In other news, everyone is busy with finals or otherwise just plain busy with life, and I'm feeling very bored and lonely. :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NvFXJESMZY&feature=related

someone has a lot of time on their hands.

Getting ready to go to Seattle. Pulled out the suitcase. Dusted it off. Dug though old junk, trying to find the keys. Found three luggage locks. Found a keychain with three small keys on it. NONE OF THEM WORK. How can I have three locks and three keys but none of them go to each other?!? Why do I have this?!

"Real world" health care is expensive. I want my student health care back. :(

The differnce between Dr. Jaundice and UCDVM:

DrJ: "Buy this Science Diet special food, it's the only cure!!

UCDVM: "There are UTI pet foods available, if you want."

facebook, gmail, cuteoverload, xkcd (if it's mon/weds/fri), fml, tfln, cracked.com

if i have time/am bored: lj, peopleofwalmart, failblog, graphjam

not yahoo. ever. lol.

Car back (minus $220 grumble grumble)
Grad apps submitted

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/285952/was_your_car_illegally_towed.html?cat=27

Yeah, don't believe everything you see on the internet, but I think that with most people happily being ignorant enough to just pay the $220 to get their car back and move on with life very few people would look into this and press charges against the tow company, and the DMV codes check out as far as I can tell (I'm no lawyer). But fuck them, I'm NOT paying $220 so I can visit my friend and work on grad apps with her for 5 hours. I'm getting all the paperwork pertaining to this and I'm not gonna be nice about it.

i got towed. not a parking ticket, no warning, just went out to the parking lot and my car wasn't there and the local towing company is holding it ransom for $310 if I want it now or $220 if I want it tomorrow after 8am.

FML

just was taking a nap when I hear a very mournful, begging "mrah-mrow!" I look up and Socrates wasn't doing it, and I look over and Chomsky wasn't either, but they were both looking outside. I hear it again and see a small, cute black cat. I wonder if it's the black cat that I used to see outside the Sycamore apartment, that I'd feed from time to time, if she followed us here. I also have to wonder if it's Chomsky's littermate* whom we affectionately nicknamed "Blackie". Or it could just be a random black cat. I opened the door to say hi to the black visitor but Chomsky decided to be territorial and (1) scare him/her off and (2) nearly escape which resulted in (3) him getting scruffed and thrown back into the house and disciplined for going into the Outside World without permission.

*For those who didn't know, me and Sarah fostered Chomsky's whole litter:
( this blog very quickly became an excuse to post cute pictures of kittens )In other news, while I was on my commute the other day on 80W, I saw a very large truck with a very, very large tree and realized that this was a tree coming from somewhere around Tahoe-ish and heading to San Francisco to be the giant tree in the city square a la Home Alone 2. I always think of Home Alone 2 when i think of giant Christmas trees in big cities because I've never been in a big city for Christmas. But anyways, it really made me think: how many people realize that the tree had to come from somewhere? Trees of that size certainly don't grow anywhere near most big cities (especially not with suburban sprawl). I think this is true with a lot of things. I saw an article in the paper this morning about "where does your coffee come from" and while I think most people have a vague idea that their coffee is probably coming from slave labor or poor conditions somewhere in Africa or South America, very, very few people could recognize an unprocessed coffee bean if it was thrown in their face. I certainly couldn't (well, I can now, thanks to that article). Meat even more so. People would prefer not to think about the cow and the salughterhouse and just think about the fire that's right here, right now, making their steak less bloody and more delicious.

I have no idea where I'm going with this. Think I'll peace out now.

all middle school and high school classrooms should have this as a poster. it was possibly the most informative, accurate, thorough, and entertaining lesson I've ever read about ANYthing in a long time.

http://apostrophe.me/

I'm dumb.

I've become one of those people that's so far advanced into something that they've forgot the basics. Like how mathematicians can't add. I couldn't, for the life of me, think of these two concepts, which are opposites. Then I remembered "polysemy" but not the other one. I asked a ling friend, and she was like "uh... synonymy?"

Yeah. I suck. I was JUST using a thesaurus too.

Oh hai. Welcome to the intarnets. Sometimes, we yooz dis ting cawled "spelcheck". Like on important stuff, like your profile, that people, like your employers and future potential lovers, might read. So make a good impression, mmk?

I saw someone who listed their "College" as "diablo valley collage". Aside from not capitalizing anything, they misspelled college. And on top of that, they misspelled college RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO a label that says "college" that they could have copied.

A quick search returned 109 facebook users who go to "diablo valley collage."

Ken Jennings sucks!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4K76HbbxsBs&feature=related

Oh, and if you're as confused as I was:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rake_(character)

But, yeah, the right answer to the question that got Ken Jennings out of being world champion times infinity was "H&R Block".

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=How_to_speak_lolcat

someone did it before me! not exactly a linguistic grammar, but a grammar nonetheless.

I had a dream last night that something was really frustrating. I slammed my fist on a desk in my dream. In real life, I punched Drew in the face.

why are sentences involving Mary kissing or loving Tom (but, alas, not visa versa), cats doing anything, and the idiom "kicked the bucket" staples of linguistic theory?